Where Are We In The Process?

Today is the last day of my maternity leave.  I could technically take two more weeks but I've chosen to save those just in case our adoption makes it to court this year.  I hoped that my last weekend off would be spent with Chris and Ella, cuddling and doing fun family things...but instead we've spent it ripping out carpet and putting down new floors.  Ugh.  I wanted to take a minute to get our story up to the present, because I'm sure this whole working mom thing is gonna be harder than it sounds!

The Monday after Isabella came home with us, *Jane* went to court.  The judge would not allow her to sign a voluntary termination of parental rights because she felt like it was too soon to make that decision.  She set another court date for the following month.  In the meantime, Chris and I talked to our attorney about what we should do.  He said that since this is a kinship adoption, there was a possibility that the state would pay the fees and do the homestudy required for adoption and not just temporary custody.  After a little investigating, we found out that you have to make less than $40,000 per year as a household to qualify for this "streamllined" adoption.  Our attorney suggested we hire an adoption agency and gave us several suggestions.  One of the numbers he gave us led us to Leigh at Heart to Home and she came to meet with us to get the ball rolling.

To be approved by the state for adoption, you have to let them know everything about you.  You have the legal part (child abuse and neglect check, Kentucky State Police check, FBI fingerprinting and background check, etc.)  and the personal financial part (credit references, paycheck stubs, tax information).  We had to have letters from our employers, the vet to ensure our dogs were up to date with vaccinations, and physical exams. We had to fill out a Family Profile which was page after page of questions.  Where did you meet?  When?  How long did you date before you were married?  What do you like about your partner?  What would you change?  How do you fight?  And the list goes on and on.  We also had to answer questions about our plans for parenting.  How do you plan to discipline?  How do you plan to talk to them about their adoption?  How do you plan to talk to them about their birth parents?   We also had to provide three letters from personal references and have another home study conducted.  None of the things we were asked to do were particularly hard, but they were time consuming and a little intrusive at times.  Add taking care of a newborn to the equation and you'll understand why it took nearly two months to complete the process. 

Tomorrow, the Kentucky State Police check should be back and our adoption agency will be submitting our home study report to the state.  At that point we wait for approval.  After approval is granted (which could take several months), we will file a petition for adoption after Ella has been in our home for 6 months.  That will be on July 29, 2011.  Before we can file the petition to adopt, we must have Jane's parental rights terminated.  At the follow up court date, the judge told her again to take some more time to think about her decision.  I'm not sure why she feels so strongly that she wait, but all we can do is what she says. 

It's been a busy and emotional journey and we aren't even halfway to our destination.  We will be lucky if the adoption is final in August.  Until then and every day after we will just continue to love this baby girl and take care of her and spoil her completely rotten!  We love her so much and can hardly wait for the day that she shares our last name and we never have to look back! 

For the next several months we will need your prayers.  Please keep us in your thoughts as we continue along this road.  We hope everything will continue to move along smoothly.  I'll do my best to keep this updated as we have more information.  I'll leave you with a picture of the sweet baby girl that I am so blessed to wake up to each morning!

Welcome Home!

After our shopping trip Friday night, we went home to get everything ready.  My friend Brandi and her husband Chris came over to bring the Pack and Play they had so generously bought for us.  We set up her temporary bed in our room and strapped the car seat base into my car (Chris had researched the crash test ratings for both of our cars and surprisingly the Scion was safer)!  We were as prepared as we could be when we went to bed that night!

Saturday morning Chris had to work.  We were told the nurse would call when the pediatrician made rounds and signed her discharge paperwork.  I picked up Brandi and we headed out for a little last minute shopping!  We got a few things that we had overlooked the night before and I asked Brandi a million questions!  When I got home, I packed a diaper bag and straightened up, anxiously awaiting the call from the nurse!  Around noon, my phone rang and it was the call we had been waiting for!  The nurse said the doctor had signed the paperwork and Isabella was ready to come home!  I called Chris and he left work early.  When he got there, we grabbed the diaper bag and the car seat and hopped in the car.  

On the way to the hospital we called the minister who had married us just two months before.  We talked to him for most of the drive.  He voiced his concerns about our new marriage and said that while a new baby wasn't the ideal situation, he knew that we were in a strong, healthy marriage and he had no doubt that we would be fantastic parents.  We talked about ways that we could continue to build a strong foundation for our marriage while we were building a strong foundation for our baby girl.  He suggested family counseling to prepare ourselves for the questions and issues that will come with adopting a child.  Before we got off the phone, he prayed with us and promised to continue to pray for our new family!

We arrived at the hospital around 2 pm and headed straight to the nursery with our diaper bag and car seat.  This time we knew we wouldn't be leaving empty handed.  We walked in and I scooped up Isabella and sat down with Chris and the nurse to go over discharge paperwork.  We talked all about feeding and changing, bathing and sleeping.  We signed the paperwork and verified our custody order with the hospital social worker.  We were ready to go!  We changed her diaper and her clothes and strapped her into her car seat.  That Saturday, Isabella was 13 days old.  No one had been to visit her since the day after she was born when *Jane* left the hospital.  It made me so sad to think that she had been all alone with no one holding her for nearly two weeks, but that was clearly not the case!  As we were walking out the door of the nursery, several nurses gathered around.  They had all become very attached to our baby girl in the last two weeks, often taking turns holding her while they did paperwork.  They gave us things they had made for her, hats and bibs, and loaded us up with diapers and bottles!  I will never forget one nurse who took me in her arms and gave me the sweetest hug.  With tears in her eyes, she said "We've been praying for someone to love this baby girl and we're so glad our prayers have been answered.  Congratulations, Mommy".   With that, we were all crying!  Isabella's nurse carried her in her car seat to the door where Chris had pulled the car up.  We clicked her car seat into the base and I hopped in the backseat with her and we were headed home.  With our daughter.  :)

We got home that afternoon and settled in.  My dad and his wife came down to bring us a rocking chair and meet their new grand baby!  Chris was a nervous wreck.  He ran around like a crazy person all night long, checking and rechecking our stock of diapers, formula, and other supplies.  I was considerably more calm than he was which shocked me since I'm usually the one over reacting and he's usually the one calming me down!  Isabella wasted no time breaking in the couch with a little vomit action and we laughed about the fact that it was the first of many messes we would be cleaning up.  We took turns holding and loving on her until it was finally time to say goodbye to our visitors and head to bed.  That night Isabella woke up twice.  Every three hours she was up and ready to eat but went back to sleep quickly each time.  It was a pleasant surprise for me since I had been preparing myself to be up all night with a baby that refused to sleep!  

Sunday we had a few more visitors and continued to adjust to life as new parents.  We were both tired but so happy to have our baby home.  For the first few days, I cried every time I looked at Isabella.  Chris thought I was crazy and it was hard for him to understand that I was just happy and so in love with our daughter...and maybe a little sleep deprived!  Those first few days, we also had something extra on our plate that a lot of new parents don't have to think about.  We began the long journey that would lead to our legally becoming a family.  The adoption process.