Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's Official!!

About a month ago I sat down and wrote a terribly long blog post to update our story.  It took me a couple of hours to write it and I felt like I had done a good job explaining all that had gone on since my last update.  I saved the draft and intended to proof read it and add some pictures before I posted it.  Today I deleted it.  I felt like it was a little too personal to post and that it may have portrayed Ella's birth mom negatively, even though it had nothing to do with her.  When I reread it, I kept in mind that this is something that Ella may read some day and I want her to know that her birth mom gave us the most incredible gift when she made such a tough decision and that we love her for it.  End of story.

But since this is the story of how we came to be a family, I feel like the important parts should be included.  And the 110 days that passed between May 17 and August 27 were very important.  For those 110 days we thought we were going to lose our daughter.  We received the terrifying news on May 17 that Ella may not be able to stay with us.  It wasn't because of anything we had done or anything her birth mom had done.  There was just a set of circumstances that we all feared, but didn't let deter us when we brought her home in January, that had come to the surface and our future with Ella hung in the balance.

For almost four long months we got our legal ducks in a row and prepared to fight for our daughter.  We cried, prayed, held Ella tight, held each other tight, pushed each other away, prayed, fought, cried, and prayed some more.  I'm a pessimist by nature but I knew in my heart that God hadn't brought this little girl into our lives the way He did just to rip her from our arms four months later.  I can't even begin to explain the fear, frustration, and uncertainty we felt knowing that at any moment we could receive the word that our daughter was no longer going to be ours.  Those of you who are parents may be able to imagine.  The child that you have loved with all your heart for four months and who has changed your life in every way, may or may not be able to stay with you.  It was terrifying.  Terrifying really doesn't even begin to cover it.

On August 27 we finally received the good news that Ella was not going anywhere and we could proceed with our adoption.  The relief we felt is almost as indescribable as the fear we felt during the wait!  We could finally take a breath after four months of waiting.  We could begin to look toward the future and not feel like we were living on a day to day basis with our daughter.  We could let our guards down again and get back to our perfectly uneventful life that we had grown to love!

A little over a month after our good news, Chris, Ella, and I (along with our close family members) headed downtown to the Circuit Courthouse with our attorney and stood in front of a judge to tell him that we wanted nothing more than to love Ella and be her parents for the rest of our lives.  And on that day, we became her legal parents and she became a Bay!  Finally!  Our eight month long process had come to a close and a new beginning opened up for us!  No more legal business...just love for our family!  It was the best birthday gift I could have ever imagined!


We would like to thank our friends and family who never stopped praying and supporting us through this process.  We never would have been able to hold it together without all the encouragement we were given.  I remember how agonizing that time was for our family but I also know that it is because of Ella and this experience that my husband and his grandfather gave their lives to Christ and made our family and relationships even stronger.  Everything truly happens for a reason!