Nice to Finally Meet You!

Friday morning, Chris and I woke up at 5:30 to get ready for our day.  We were in the bathroom getting ready and I asked him "Do you hear that?".  "Hear what?"...."The last time it will ever be completely silent in this house!".  We were both nervous and neither of us knew what to say.   We had an hour and a half drive ahead of us.  We were picking up *Jane* and heading to our meeting with the social worker.   It was going to be a long day.

We picked up Jane and her mom that morning at their home.  It was the first time I had ever met them.  I didn't know what to say to her in the car.  I was afraid to say anything at all, for fear of saying the wrong thing or upsetting her.  I couldn't imagine how she was feeling.  She was doing such an incredibly difficult thing.  An unselfish thing.  The right thing.

We got downtown and went into our meeting where we all sat around a table and discussed the situation.  The goal of the meeting was to make sure no one was making a quick decision that they would later regret.  We all needed to be on the same page.  Jane told us and the social worker that she knew she was unable to provide this baby with all the things she would need and she knew we were more than capable.  Her mind was made up and she knew she was doing the right thing.  But it's not always as easy as just signing some papers and Voila! you're parents.  The social worker said the best approach was to go to court that afternoon and ask the family court judge to grant Chris and me emergency custody and to meet again on Monday to sign a termination of parental rights.  Everyone agreed and the meeting came to a close.

As we were leaving our meeting, we told Jane that we were going to the hospital to meet Isabella and asked her if she would like to join us.  She was quiet for a minute and then told us that she didn't think she wanted to go.  I understood why she made that decision.  I have never been pregnant.  I've never carried a child for nine months or given birth.  But I can only imagine the bond you form and how hard it would be to see that child again and know that you just weren't able to take her home.  We took the two of them back to their home and I got out of the car and hugged Jane.  With a giant lump in my throat, all I could say was thank you.  That wasn't even close to everything I wanted to say, but it was the most important part.  I would never be able to explain what a gift she was giving us.

Our next stop was the hospital to meet Miss Isabella!  In the meeting that morning, Jane had given us the proofs of the photos that were taken of her in the hospital!  She was the cutest little thing I had ever seen...and I'm not just saying that!  She had a full head of brown hair and big blue eyes!  We couldn't wait to meet her!  The night before, we had made a quick trip out to pick up a few things to take her.  We knew we weren't bringing her home til Saturday and we wanted her to have some new outfits for her last two days in the hospital and a soft blanket that was not hospital issue.  So we grabbed her things and headed toward the nursery!

For three days, I'd been so worried about whether or not I had that maternal instinct.  I worried that since I didn't carry this baby and I had so little time to prepare for her, I might not know what to do or even know how to love her like I should.  To say I was nervous walking in to meet her is an understatement.  We got to the door and peeked inside and I saw the nurse holding a baby against her chest.  I knew right away that was my daughter.  We washed our hands and I walked over and took the sweet baby girl into my arms.  She was so small and so perfect.  We made our way to the back of the nursery, where there were two rocking chairs, and just looked at this precious baby girl who was changing our lives in such a big way.  I held her for a while and finally passed her to her daddy.  I never thought I could love my husband any more than I did until I saw him holding our baby girl in his arms with a proud smile on his face.  I will never forget that moment.  All the concerns that I had about loving her or knowing how to be a mother were instantly erased and I knew that I was meant to be this little girl's mother.  She was my daughter and I would do everything I could to love her, protect her, and give her everything she deserved. 

We spent about six hours taking pictures and videos, texting friends and family members, cuddling and kissing our new baby girl.  I fed her and changed her diaper.  We changed her clothes and wrapped her in her new blanket.  She was perfect!  We picked the nurse's brain all afternoon, asking her a million questions.  We both had friends with children and Chris had two younger step brothers but we were new parents and we wanted to be sure that we were doing everything right.  I'm sure the nurse was ready to see us go, but neither of us wanted to leave.  We talked about staying the night but then we thought about all the things we needed.  We didn't have one single thing in our home that a baby would require!  We kissed Isabella and hugged her goodbye, promising to see her the next day.  We returned to our car and started the long drive home.  I think I called everyone in my phone to tell them about my perfect baby girl!

   

From the hospital, we went straight to Buy Buy Baby for a serious shopping spree!  If you've never been there, it's a very overwhelming place!  Imagine Bed Bath and Beyond but with all things baby.  Stocked floor to ceiling, wall to wall, everything you could ever need, and lots of things you don't!  We walked every inch of that store.  We agreed to just get the essentials, but for a baby...there are a lot of essentials!  At one point during our shopping trip, an employee approached us and asked "Are you two okay?  You look like you need to sit down!".  We used her knowledge for a while and a few hours and lots of money later, we walked out, confident that we were ready to bring home our baby the following day!